i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
