That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Come share oat with me in your robe
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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