Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
