Umm I'm too high to move.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
