youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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