you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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