i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
