You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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