Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
