he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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