hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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