I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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