2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
