So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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