we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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