he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
