drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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