I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize