I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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