While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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