dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
