she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
