doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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