so explain again why im purple
no
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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