soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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