yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
