i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize