yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
