Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
