My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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