Dude my mom stole all your condoms
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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