You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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