His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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