you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
