your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Actions speak louder than pants.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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