Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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