He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
