i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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