I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
