Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
