Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
