who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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