I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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