Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize