xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
