sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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