talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
