Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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