Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize