Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!