**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
