I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize