just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
