i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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