I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
