I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
