And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
