i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize