Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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