just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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