i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
