I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
